how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had AIDS

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Q: Why was the balloon scared of unicorns? A: Buses dont exist therefore the balloon was just insane.

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Why did Mike Tyson say he would eat his children? Thats mean! friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Why not just vi0late them REALLY REALLY FUCKlNG HARD! Its a Win/Win/Win/Sore ass situation.

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How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

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why did jimmy loose the bike race. because he never entered.

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No, you would have made me unhappy and yourself miserable, until you truly value who you are, as we that still look up to you to this day, you wont see the greatness within you.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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A Penguin Waddles into Abercrombie and Fitch.

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What smells like dead rats? Dead hamsters

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Why did the boy eat the apple. He really likes apples.

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What's worse than finding a dead fly in your soup? Finding your soup in a dead fly

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if you have hair on the palm of your hand you might want to get that checked out

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A guy walked into a bar. He got drunk. He hit a small child with his Suburu and was charged with a DUI.

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69

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what do you call a black women that got an abortion a crime stopper

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Whats black and red inside? A black guy

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Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

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A man sees the most beautiful woman he's ever seen on the street. He takes her into a dark alley and r.apes her.

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I may have Alzheimer's. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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What is the best way to burn Jews Light them on fire

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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What do you get when you mix C4 with a lit- KABOOM!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops