If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

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What's the deal with airplane food? I've never tried it. I'm just curious how it was.

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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KENNAH CAMPIONS LAUGH

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What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she couldn't get a high paying job and had to settle for working full time at McDonalds, just to get your family through the week.

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

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Sarah Jessica Parker

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Why was 9 afraid of 10 because 10 was a registered sex offender

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

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A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

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A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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