What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Fill in the blank: Hello my name is ___, and today I would like to ask you why you put your real name in the blank? Posted by: BerserkSpoon

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a guy who accidentally cut off his hand in a blender? Stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A pool table in a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock. whos there? not suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A blond walks into an electronics store. Then she promptly walks out, as she got the wrong store.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A bar walks into a man. The drink orders a bartender. And then the money walks home. End The.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

roses r nice violet are fine all be the 6 and you be 9

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why do black people like kool-aid? it's a tasty refreshment

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Person 1:why did the person fart Person 2: wh.... Person 1:shut up I'm not interested any more! Btw person 2 got interrupted

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did dick Cheney say to his friend that he accidentally shot in the face while quail hunting? Sorry for shooting you in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops