What do Mitt Romney and Barak Obama have in common? Nothing that is why they are running against each other for US President.

What does a man and an orange have in common? Nothing.

what long green and bumpy? a pickle

A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

im jackson, i have a small willy, and like to finger my dog

"Ask me a question." "No" "Cheese" ... "What?"

What did the cow say to the farmer? moo

What Happened to the man who married a money? He contracted HIV

roses are red violets are blue , but i would't know that because u never bring me flowers, you bastard .

A dog walks into a bar Because the door was open -Tag

Yo momma's so fat she ate Sally's arms. Knock Knock Who's There. The police we have a warrant for your mothers arrest on charges of cannibalism and kidnapping.

Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

A woman was at a family reunion and her husband's mother walked in. She has a chocolate allergy so the woman says the her husband,"I need more chocolate!"

I dont have a girlfriend

roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

Your Mommy is a gas pump.

How did the polack burn his hands on the stove? He placed his hands on the hot stove top burners not realizing they were hot.

Why was the washing machine laughing? Because you're on drugs.

How do you make your grandma fly? Push her off the back of a plane.

Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

Why did the bird fall out of the sky, It hit one of the random green pipes.

What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

Q: Why do some women insist they don't have penises or testicles? All humans have penises and testicles! A: These women have been brainwashed by feminism. It's quite sad, really.

How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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