What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

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A black man is driving down the road in a van, and pulls up to a little a girl and says excuse me Miss. The girl replies Ok Ok I will get the car just dont hurt me The black guy says I dont want you to get in my van im taking your mom on a date.

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A ninja walked into a dojo and was kindly greeted by his master.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

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Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

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Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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Women's professional sports

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You can go out to eat without posting it on Facebook.

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save me from the nothing ive become

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why didnt the llama eat the string bean? Becuz he was a vegetarian

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arena football

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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a black man walks into a shop for an interview....everyone gets afraid and hides behind there desk..when the black man wonders why they are scarred he says "I'm here for the interview"...they all tell him to leave because on his resume he put his name as john...they thought he was white....

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Why did the Egg turn Purple Because it didnt turn blue.

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why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

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Why was the black man in school detention? For sleeping in and showing up late accidently

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Q: What's multicoloured and spins around while screaming in agony? A: A clown in a washing machine.

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Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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Why did the Muslim suicide bomber commit suicide? He was nervous and didn't think he could hijack a plane.

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AIDS

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What's worse than finding another worm in your apple? Another Holocaust

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Bigfoot, Santa, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde all jump off of a cliff. They all reach terminal velocity and at impact at the same time. However, no one really cares.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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