What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Person 1:why did the person fart Person 2: wh.... Person 1:shut up I'm not interested any more! Btw person 2 got interrupted

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q. What's a pirate's favorite type of movie? A. It depends on the individual pirate, although most modern-day pirates are from third world countries like Somalia and so are too poor to be able to watch many movies. Classical pirates like those depicted in Treasure Island or Pirates of the Carribean are, of course, from a period of history before movies had been invented, so couldn't possibly have had a favorite.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

thumb_up thumb_down -23

* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the Hindu eat the Mongolian? He tried, the Mongolian raped him.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why can't the children hug his father? Because his father is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock knock Who's there . I said who's there. Sadly this poor man didn't understand he had just been door bell ditched.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why dont jews eat pork? Because the torah doesnt allow cannibalism

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

<=3 penis

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A Russian Irish and American beat up on a Canadian. the only thing wrong with that is i forgot the , in between the races. but on the good side the Canadian was Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was sexually abusive.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the tide say to the sea?ANSWER-- Long time no sea. LOL Issaiah from OHIO yolo

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A priest was walking home from church one day when he found a young boy crouching naked in the bushes. The priest contacted local law enforcement authorities on his cell phone and proceeded home once they arrived.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Brown Bear, Brown Bear what do you see? I see some poachers looking at that tiger over there.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q. Why didn't the Atheist enter the church? A. Because Atheists do not go to church so he had no reason to enter.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops