Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What would you do for a Klondike Bar? I would probably spend somewhere under 3 dollars at a store, but only if somebody else drives me. I really don't want to drive, not in this gas shortage. You know what...forget it, Klondike Bars make my teeth hurt due to my sensitive teeth problem. I know I should get that sensitive teeth tooth paste, but I always forget when at the store.

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What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

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Q: What's purple and flies? A: Super Grape

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What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

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Q:Why was the frog sad A:He was stapeld to a boys face.

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What is worse than a person eating cereal? A black person eating white children.

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What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

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Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

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A father teaches his son to ride a bike. Father: Don't stop or you'll fall. Son: Ok, dad. They have a nice time,

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What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Pull my finger ouch..

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

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Person 1: 'Ask me if I'm a tree' Person 2: 'Are you a tree?' Person 1: 'No.'

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

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HOLY SHIT BITCH!!!

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The Blonde Gets 100 % On Her Math Test

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Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

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[Insert hurtful, yet spontaneous comment here.]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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