Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

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A married man takes the ring off his finger.

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Guy 1: "Hey, you have some updawg on your face." Guy 2: "Oh, thanks. Did I get it?" Guy 1: "Yeah, I think so."

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What?

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How do you get a small girl of a swing ? Throw a fridge at her

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Invisible Television.

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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Do you know what would happen if you were to like this Anti-Joke? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... I would get another like.

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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What do you call ten black men running down the street? A race.

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I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

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Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

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Sarah Palin walks into a bar and the bartender tells her to get the f*&k out.

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What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

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Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

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smug face >:}

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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Your mom is so fat, her pants are starting to get tight.

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? he did cross the road

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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