What is the most attractive part of a woman's body? The part where she doesn't have a penis. I know, I know, the no-penis thing looks weird and strange, but hear me out. I think it's kind of cute and quirky. Like, oops, there's something that's supposed to be there, but isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

A monkey enters a bar and climbs up on a stool. The bartender asks, "What'll ya have, pal?" The monkey, who can niether speak nor understand English, appears slightly perplexed.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Do you know what would happen if you were to like this Anti-Joke? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... I would get another like.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a bird and a horse? - Both can fly, exept the horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why do holocasut jokes make us laugh? i dont know you tell me

thumb_up thumb_down -47

hi hi strager danger

thumb_up thumb_down -79

whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -149

Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

thumb_up thumb_down +106

Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

thumb_up thumb_down +102

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

hi, im sober.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

thumb_up thumb_down +40

My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why wouldn't the girl clean her room? She was paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops