Always bring food to the zoo. It's not the animals who placed the signs not to feed them.

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the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

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YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

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Q : Why was the little girl crying? A : Because she tripped and hurt her knee.

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Knock, knock. The man knocking finds a note taped to the door saying "we'll be back in a week", the man proceeds to walk back home and tell his wife that they weren't home and that he'll return the rake he borrowed from them next week when they're back.

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

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What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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What do you call two men riding a bicycle.

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Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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Punch line.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

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Q: A black man is walking down the street with a television, where did he just come from? A: Best Buy, he just got a bonus, and wanted to reward himself.

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How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

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what is the difference between a Ferrari and a bucket of dead babies......... I dont have a Ferrari in my garage

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What did Jack give Jill for Christmas? Herpes.

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Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Lean a ladder against the tree and reassure them if they are apprehensive.

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Whut r bacer dew? Eh muphin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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