Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

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a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

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whats worse than having cancer? nothing you have cancer and should proceed to see doctor

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Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

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Hey i just met you & this is crazy but Nia and Goober Made a baby

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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Person A: Hey! Whats up? Person B: Suicide rates...

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What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

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What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

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Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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Invisible Television.

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? This isn't a car

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Why was the blonde so stupid? He had dyslexia and to make fun of his hardship would truly be a hardship of human morals.

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Dylan Eichas

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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a blind man walks into a bar it hurt.

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how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

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-Is Michael Jackson dead? - HELL YEAH HE'S DEAD!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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