Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

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being drunk in a mall sounds like it would be alot of fun . . . . . . . but that is public intoxication and that is against the law

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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What's red and looks like blue paper? Red paper

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

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A mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man. The mexican got his arms shot off in the war and is severely paralyzed. God Bless our troops. Thank you for serving us.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick!

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What happened to the bus? An unexpected, unforseen, instantaneous, sudden finger began to slowly disintergrate the earth

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? No Neither did she

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What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

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:)Knock, Knock :(Who's there? :)Barbie :(Barbie who? :)Barbieq

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whats the difference between G. Bush and a rock? Bush (bull)shits and rock doesn't

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Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

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How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

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How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

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If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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Q: what is white and can't climb trees? A: A refrigerator

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your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom T H E R E ' R E A L L D E A D!!!

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops