Why didn't the man jump out of his window when his house was on fire? Because he is afraid of heights.

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Whats Do You call people, on the top floor of a Double-Decker bus? Passengers

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What is big, long, hot, and firm? An erection due to the arousal of a woman's sex appeal.

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If Selfish Sam has twelve cookies and Tricky Todd asks for three then how many cookies does sam have left? Twelve. Remember he's selfish

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he has no arms.

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

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What's sad about an elderly couple who has had a long, fruitful marriage? Nothing.

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How do you get a clown to shut up? Hit him in the face with an axe

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Once there was a girl named Andrea

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Four black guys have a picnic. One of them pulls out a bag of KFC. Another pulls out some Kool Aid. The third pulls out a watermelon. The fourth pulls out a box of cookies you racist prick

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Why are all blondes dumb? They are not all dumb but constant bullying just saying blondes are just pretty gives them that illogical stereo type

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say cheese

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Tell my wife I died doing what I love... Not her

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How do you make a person who wins the lottery sad? You threaten to kill his family.

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What did the boy dog say to the girl dog? Ruff

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What is black and white and red all over. A pile of dead zebras

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What did Dmitri say to all his friends? Nothing he has no friends

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son Scotty was grabbed by the sexual predator 4 blocks from the school, and your daughter Sally tried to run and is now under the wheels on the bus going round and round.

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Most of these Anti-Jokes are Anti-Anti jokes, which makes them funny, if they were actually Anti-Jokes they wouldn't be funny at all.

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one bright morning in the middle of the night two dead boys got up to fight back to back they faced each other drew thier swords and shot each other a deff policeman heard this noise came and shot the two dead boys if you dont believe this lie is true ask the blind man he saw it too

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Person 1:"Knock Knock" Person 2: Whos there.... Wait why did you literally say the words "Knock Knock" Person 1: I have no idea

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Have you seen the new Spiderman movie yet? No, Uncle ben hasn't seen it either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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