Miscarriages.

what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

A black man and a white woman cross paths while walking on the sidewalk. After greeting each other, they continue on their way. Each goes on to enjoy their respective day free of racism and sexism.

Dude 1: Hey, ya see these coins here? Dude 2: ya, what about em'? Dude 1: would you say you see these pretty often? Dude 2: yup... :/ Dude 1: so would you call them COMMON CENTS!?!?!?!?!

how many licks does it take to get too the tootsie center of a tootsie pop. Well it depends on how you eat it, there is always the option of biting it, so there is no defined answer, as well as ones lick might absorb more of the lollipop then another mans.

Ha! You're so gay that I respect the sexuality you were born with and I feel completely comfortable with, and happy for, you and your preferences.

What's the difference between a piece of chicken and a black guy? They were both once alive and innocent, I lied about the black guy.

A man walked into this bar, and said ouch.

you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

24

Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

why did the mexican choose to work as a landscaper instead of at taco bell? landscaping pays much better and was a more practical decision in this economy to support his family of 13.

- What do you call a black pirate? + A Nig-ARRRRRRRRRR - No, a pirate you fucking racist

My favorite word starts with F and ends with U-C-K! My favorite word is FIRETRUCK! What'd you think I'd say? My favorite thing starts with P and ends with O-R-N! My favorite thing is POPCORN! What'd you think I'd say?

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and deaf, so it wold be near impossible for her to do so without seriously injuring herself or another human being.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

How do you drown a blonde. Put a Scratch N Sniff at the bottom of a pool and tell her to sniff it.

What do you give a sick bird? Tweetment.

If your scared of paedophiles..... grow up

Please? No.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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