How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, Others don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Three a man is trapped on a desert island and a genie offers to grant him one wish. The man accepts the existence of the genie and then wishes for unlimited wishes for the rest of his life. The man takes over the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Oh

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how long does it take for a black woman to shit? a couple of minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why couldn't the boy see? He was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -61

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +54

How do you make a black man cry? A: Kill his whole family.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Drunk guy... Hey i just maybe And this is number But here's my crazy So call me met you

thumb_up thumb_down -70

hi hi strager danger

thumb_up thumb_down -78

A man walks in to a bar. He was hospitalized and died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops