how do you kill a rat skin it and feed it to your child and wait till it shits then when it shits feed it to your dog then when it shits then microwave it and shove the smelly liquid remains up your ass.

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roses are red violets are blue i done you mom a favor by making you...banana and rice don't worry it'll taste just nice

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put my dick in your ass

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A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

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Why did the man rape the woman? He had a lapse in judgement.

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-Knock knock. ~Use the doorbell. -Ding dong. ~The witch is dead!

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Why did the German Constitutional Court issue Decision 2 BvR 1390/12 on September 12, 2012? Because they wanted to refuse the request for a temporary injunction in regards to the European Stability Mechanism!

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Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems i like your boobs

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well, you should, if only for the cultural experience.

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Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

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your life

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why did a girl walk down the alley? because her name was alley!

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What word starts with a P and ends with an ORN?.......Popcorn sickos!

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "...no..?"

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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