What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

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*Knock Knock* "Who's There?" "Delivery" "Oh right, I just ordered pizza"

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red OH SH*T MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!!!!!

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what did the mexican cop say to the mexican drug dealer? can i get some of that

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? The tea he was drinking was at an unsuitable temperature for consumption resulting in the scalding of his mouth.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he had poor coordination.

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What did the priest say to the little boy? "Reading antijokes in rapid succession takes almost all humor from them."

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What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a pile of dead babies? I don't cum on the ice cream before I eat it.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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knock knock whose there cash! cash who i don't want any but i'd like some peanuts

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I am a women

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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Sally went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. She was exhausted and died of dehydration at the top.

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Hi Mum!!!!!!!!

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A man... walks.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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I like your hair

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Alex watched his grandfather tear up as he told him the terrors of the Holocaust. Apparently killing Jews is hard on people.

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A man laughs creepily and another man asks him what he's doing he says I have a creepy laugh so the man asks him why he was laughing the man says there's a boy over there that has a frog stapled to his face!!!!!!!!!

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I used to be an adventurer like you but then i grew old and i never took i single injury unlike my brother he took an arrow to the knee or so he says i asked him to show me and he was all defensive like "whoa man i don't need to prove anything." so i think he's lieing

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Carol never wore her safety goggles. Neither did Hellen Keller.

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What is the difference between and Jew and a Boy Scout? The Boy Scout comes back from camp.

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What's that on my back? Tell me it's your phone ! Its my phone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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