Q: Why was the man upset? A: He was kidnapped. Two cruel men tied him to a chair in an unknown location. This man was mistaken for someone who was planning to steal a big drug shipment. They beat him unmerciful, shocked him, and hit him in the head with a hammer, and threw him out in the street, with the belief of his death occurring. A driver stopped to help the man into the nearby hospital. The man was questioned about the physical appearance and whereabouts of these criminals. He remembered nothing, and sadly, they got away with this horrible crime.

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first baby. Why did the third baby fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Q. What did the atheist ask the pregnant woman? A. You gonna eat that?

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Mom: Are you going to jump of a cliff just cause your friends are? Kid: You got married to dad cause you were the last lonely whore left of all your friends. And you wanna talk to me about peer pressure. Mom: Go jump.

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There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

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I wrote a joke for 'Anti-Joke', I laughed, it was funny.

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There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

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Q: How many black people came KFC on June 31st? A: None because June 31st doesn't exist.

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

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What is the difference between ashes and a jew? A lot

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Why did the house burn down? Obama

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Do you know why I'm bored???? No why are you bored Because I am

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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What happens when you divide by 0? Sadly, you don't.

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Why couldn't the old man see? Because he was stabbed in the eye.

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children burning

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nock nock who's there? bob bob who? bob franklin let me in 'cause i'm freezing!

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 69

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what did the asian father say to his son after getting a c+ on a test? son you are working hard and i know you will do well

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#Cutforbieber - Cole g.

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What's clear and wet? water

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Politics

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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