Steve buys 60 watermelons.. What does he have? A lot of watermelons.

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who has less of a soul then you? a ginger

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? She has no legs, that's why.

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What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

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What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

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Your Mommy is a gas pump.

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How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

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Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

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How did the baby die? In a very sad and tragic car accident.

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Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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Who's a pedophile and not afraid to show it? The clown from McDonald

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Yo mamma is so fat her blood type is RAGU

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Wanna know what is gross? a dead baby in a dumpster. Grosser? Ten dead babies in a dumpster. Grosser? There is a live one at the bottom. Grosser? It ate its way out. Grosser? It came back for seconds.

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Two men are in a bar. One of them turns to the other one and says, "I've slept with your mom." The other one replies "Go home dad you're drunk."

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

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What did the duck wear to go swimming? A bathingsuit!

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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Are you trolling with me? I mean how can you know where I live if you have not even picked up the phone yet? Listen, if you wanted to make me upset, you did it okay? You won, I like you a lot and I would never do such a thing. I understand you being upset Nero, I am so sorry, I never meant nor wanted for this to happen, I hope you can forgive me someday.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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