Why can't black people be in a talent show? Because they'll steal the show.

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Why did the frog cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why doesn't anybody like the octopus? There anti-social creatures by nature

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wait, what? huh

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock. Knock. Whos there? Not Sarah.

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What do you get when you cross drugs with a bathtub? Whitney Houston's worst nightmare

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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What did the depressed girl say to her mother? I cut my wrists

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

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one day i went on a swing, somone pushed me and i fell broke my leg,cracked three ribs, cut my lip, fractured my toe and died of internal bleeding to my brain.

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Q:How do you know if you have a big enough oven? A: If the jew fits

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing, they had just met and both were very shy.

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Once upon a time Jimmy was walking home from school. Jimmy was then confronted by a a pedophile so he suddenly ate himself.

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What do you call a bitchy unreliable friend? You don't call that bitch at all.

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What's the difference between Wolfjob and a Jew? Wolfjob is attractive.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a duck? Purple.

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why does Chuck Norris never get wet in the rain? Because he has a very serviceable umbrella

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What is worse then finding an apple in your worm? Not a lot.

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Why did the boy go back in time? He didn't. He was mutilated by rabid apes.

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What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? His teeth.

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I was once a hamster.

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How many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A **** load! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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