What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

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I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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Why did Dom stop smoking? Because he died

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Is your refrigerator running. Yes. Good, then I don't need to call an electrician.

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Ask me if i am a tree? "Are you a tree" No.

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Rebecca Black and Justin Bieber get married.... Friends and family attend the wedding

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Q: Why did the black guy cross the road? A: Hell, I don't know. He probably stole something.

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Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

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What did one hand say to the other? Nothing, you fool, hands don't talk.

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What did the mother say when her sons asked for a can of pop? No you have diabetes.

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What's worse than public speaking? Public masterbation. *Spelled it wrong purposly to bypass the filter*

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what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles

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whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

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what did the asian father say to his son after getting a c+ on a test? son you are working hard and i know you will do well

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What happens when you catch a cold? You sneeze whenever you stand up.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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What did the Asian man say to the African man Ching Chang Chong

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Chuck Norris Dies.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? That is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

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Crowded elevator smell different to midget-Confucius say.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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