whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

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I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cause me to develop a drinking problem.

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4 out of 4 questions. You want to cross the lake, but alligators live in that river. How do you get across? The alligators aren't there. They're all at the lion king's meeting.

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why doesn't anyone like reed? who cares, no one likes reed

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What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

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So does Blake

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What did the dog say to the house? Roof

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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You're so gay that you lost your virginity to someone of the same gender.

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Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

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Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? Same ones he got last year.

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How did the conductor survive the Electric Chair? - He was a bad conducter

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3 blind mice walk into a bar. they have no idea of their surroundings and are quickly crushed to death.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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What's big and red and if it falls out of a tree and can kill you - a fire truck

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What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding with your mother's slippers? A spanking.

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a doctor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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