Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

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What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

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After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

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Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

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Who is worse then Charlie Sheen? Hitler.

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How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

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What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

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I'm wet Ew you perv.. Stop thinking like that ! I just took a shower.

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why did the holocaust not die because black people are scared of fuck

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What did the dog say to the cat Nothing dogs cant talk

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasnt due to the fact that numbers have no feeling.

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When Life Gives You Melons... You're Probably Dyslexic.

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3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

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What do you call mexicans running down the hallway? JAIL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what is the difference between the black orphan and the white orphan.... the black orphan died after i raped it

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Three decapitated children walk into a bar..... If you are laughing at this....what the hell is wrong with you?

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roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

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Q. whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A. A jew is a human of the jewish religion, and a pizza is food.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

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A black man, a mexican, and a muslim all jump off a building. Who hit the ground first? Who cares!

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Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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