why was little johnny crying? he had frogs stapled to his face.

I wont vouch for anybody right now, but nobody I know would attack anyone, I know I can be overly sensitive at times, but its not fun anymore, stop that.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

Limerick There once was a man from mass whos balls were made out of brass he clank them together to make stormy weather and lightning came out of his ass

Hum... I am actually a redhead... Which is so strange saying to anyone including myself, I dye it like constantly.

Why is three afraid of four? Because four ate five.

what did the elephant step on when he was running through the jungle? .... a coke machine.

What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

What's white and bobs up and down in a babies crib? A pedophiles ass.

Knock Knock Nobody answered because the people in the house were away.

What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

"Why did the chicken cross the road" "why" "to get to the gay guys house" "knock-knock" "who's there?" "The chicken..."

i have a six pack.... of crayons......... just kidding i ate two of them

Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She made skittles.

What do you call a midget on the moon? A midget.

A man walks into a bar. He gets wasted and forgets the punchline.

A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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