Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's cute and smokes? A cute person with a nicotine addiction.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get a baby into a bowl? Use a blender. How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Tortilla chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why didn't the girl like that one guy? he hurt her, hurt her real bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why are they the "living" daylights?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the old lady have a heart attack? She got raped by a giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the man say to the jew? How are jew?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is hotter than a lightbulb. The Sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If you driving a jetski and the wheeles fall off how many screws does it take to fix the dog house? BLUE PAINT

thumb_up thumb_down -4

The Definition of Megan Bates 800 Hamburgers

thumb_up thumb_down -4

UP

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Hey guess what? What? I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you're mom died. I lied about the good news.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Where do 5 gay guys go????? One Direction.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats black, white, and red all over? A severely beaten and bruised man who was found un conscience and robbed in a dark parking lot behind Dennys at 2 o'clock in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

almost as accidental as your spelling im afraid

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

hi im tom. whats your name? joe. hi im tom. whats your name? joe... tom has short term memory loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Did you hear the one about the HIV positive man that got rear-ended on the highway? The motorist behind him was distracted on his cell phone, and did not hit the breaks in time to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are blue If i gave a rats ass I'd worry about you

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Let me tell you a story kids about Bill. Now bill seemed like any ordinary guy, he had a job a wife kids and he even coached the little league baseball team for boys. Well he had all the kids come to his house to celebrate the championships,they won, and he accidentally killed a kid while trying to hit a pinata. He had to kill the rest of the children to hide evidence so he killed them all quick and buried them in a 6ft. hole in his basement where they lay for 9 years today.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: what's do the following sports have in common?: baseball, football, tennis, golf? A: They all have balls in their sport.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

As a stand-up comedian, I've been really interested in how comedians have recovered from jokes not hitting making fun of the fact. Recently, I was in a situation where a rhetorical question didn't hit, and anti-joking (lamenting on the lack of a punchline sarcastically) ended up generating the laugh I needed to move on! Hurray for Anti-jokes! Me: You know the gym Extreme Fitness? Audience: SILENCE Me: (sarcastically) Yes, exactly. That's exactly how that interaction went in my mind when I was practising at home. I ask question - audience responds euphorically - I continue with my joke... http://michaeljagdeo.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/anti-jokes-how-to-recover-when-a-joke-doesnt-hit/

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops