Q: What would George Washington do if he were alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Do homeless people get knock-knock jokes?

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Why did the woman fall off her bike? She got hit by a car door

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What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

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What did Jesus say to the giraffe? Good day to you sir.

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"My c.ock is bigger!" "No! My c.ock is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger dick.

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A drunk man is that last one inside a very popular bar. He passed out on the counter before he ordered a drink. The bartender is angry at a sale lost, which would have been his millionth sale before closing time on the 1000th day of business. He goes home and hangs himself.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're a faggot.

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Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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Whats the similairity between a dog and a cat? They're both cats, except for the dog.

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How many dead babies will fit in a bathtub? Seventeen

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What do you call seven pine trees and a roll of toilet paper? Mongoloid.

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How did the 8 year old child die? He was raped at the age of 7 and given the STD of AIDS. His clock then started as his family weaped his final days of his life.

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Did you hear about the cannibal who ate the Olympic record sprinter? He's in prison for first-degree murder & crimes against humanity.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why was the black man so good at basketball? Because he practiced.

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that feels sooooo good. -is what jacob says when his dogs hump his legs

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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Q: What's worse than falling off a mountain A: Falling off a mountain into a pile of spikes

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a white elephant? No there is no such thing as a white elephant gun. You take it's trunk, then strangle it until it turns blue. Then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why are you so gay? Because I am unequivocally attracted to the same sex.

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If you are stranded on a deserted island would you eat your hand or the 5 star meal you butter prepared? -Matt

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Liverpool City Football Club

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Did you know diarrhoea is genetic? It is a side effect of Polycystic Kidney Disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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