What was the mentally challenged kids first word? He was retarded so it wasn't a word.

One cold winter day in Russia, a man asked a tree if he was cold. The tree did not reply, and the man became depressed.

How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? Same ones he got last year.

Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A.One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a human.

What do you call a sheep on a trampoline? Disorientated.

What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

What can u see in the dark that u can't see in the light? Absolutely nothing

your mama so fat she should go see a doctor.

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

Two black guys jump off a bridge..who lands first? They would land at the same time due to earths gravity acting on them both with an equal force.

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten won the contest. The man didn't think much of it.

What do you have Canasta!!! Were not playing canasta you stupid asshole

What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a woman? Two people of the opposite gender having sex.

What's funnier than 24? 25

what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

Whats worse than a bullet in the head? i have no idea, i have never been shot in the head so i'm not sure what to compare it to.

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

Are you from Tennesse because my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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