Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

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Grammar ... the difference between knowing your shit, and knowing you're shit.

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Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

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why did the boy fall down? he was shot

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A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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Whats white and all over my room? paint

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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Q: What was Jerry Sandusky's defensive philosophy at Penn State? A: Get penetration and always cover the Tight End.

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How do you a baby into a small bowl? Put it in the blender. How to u get it out? Tostitos.

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What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

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Why did the person post a real joke with bad grammar and spelling on anti-joke.com? They didn't flippin' understand the point of the website.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

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POOP FART BUTTS HAHAHA!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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