What do you call 2 midgets and a pencil rolling down a hill? Satan

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Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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Knock Knock Come in!

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The Paralympics! Even if you win, you're still retarded!

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what is worse then stubbing your toe in the dark? -september 11th

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how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

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you want to hear a joke? the goverment.

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How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

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when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

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what did the teacher say to the kid? you failed the kid cried.

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Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What's The Difference Between a Chicken and a Human. Well a Chicken Is A Chicken and a Human Is a Human.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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No, I still have to make sense of some facts bits and pieces here, and thinking is pretty much the only thing I can do at this moment, so why would my doppelganger wannabe call me from her mothers place?

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The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

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A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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it all started when it all started when i was born because i was the resault of a broken condom and thats why he left. shortly after my mother killed herself. well thats the way the cookie crumbles. its not a joke i just needed to tell someone.

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Yo Momma's so fat she has Type 1 Diabetes.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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