Nock nock Whos there? The mailman, I have a package for you. Thank you.

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What if someone sold your socks to a Jew? I would blackflip through the air and shit on his chest.

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What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

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How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

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what happens when a white guy goes to harlem he gets robbed by 5 to 10 black men

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What is the difference between a Mexican man and a bench? The Mexican man is a human being, thus being sentient and able to partake in social activities, such as receiving education, meeting people, getting a job, raising a family, and getting somewhere in life. The bench cannot do anything. It is inanimate and is meant to be sat on.

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Who keeps his best friend in a gun rack? a red neck.

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A kangeroo is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many waffles does it take to get to the moon? NO, silly. Snakes don't have armpits.

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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When I find out where you live I'm going to burn down your house, kill your family, and while your crying in you demise I am going to slit your throat.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Why was the little boy's hair messed up on picture day? Because he was brutally stabbed in the face.

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A horse walks in a bar. The barman asks: "Why the long face?" The horse replies: I have aids.

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Why did Lance Armstrong lose the race? Which race?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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- Do you want to hear a joke? - No. - Ok.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when i jump on a trampoline.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? Take a price of cloth and put it over his eyes

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

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Your mother is so fat, that recent test results have proved she is morbidly obese.

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What did PSY say about his newest song? Probably something in Korean.

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What is human, went bankrupt eight times, got a small loan of a million dollars, and is over all a terrible person? Your probably thinking Donald Trump Well your correct.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops