"Lady's and Gentlemen, hobos and trams Cross side mosquitoes and bald legged ants Pull up a chair and sit on the floor and I'll tell you I've never heard before Of one bright day in the middle of night Two dead boys got up to fight Back to Back they faced each other Drew their swords and shot each other A deaf policeman heard the noise Came and killed the two dead boys If you don't believe this lie is true Ask the blind man he saw it too"

Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

why did the kid cross the road he didnt he had no legs

A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Barman! Give me a whiskey and ............................................................coke." The barman says: "Why the big pause?" to which the Polar bear replies: "Well uhm my father had big paws"

Knock, Knock. Who's there? No reply cause Kyle got knocked out by the door.

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

'A blonde', 'a brunette', and 'a redhead' are ways of referring to women who have hair of a certain color.

why do people copy other people's anti-jokes? because they don't have a life nor an imagination. P.S. if this gets a lot of thumbs ups, expect another one soon from one of those people who copy others anti-jokes...

I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

What happens when you divide by 0? Sadly, you don't.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

What did the black man get for Kwanza? AIDS

There once was a man who had a penis that was so big, his girlfriend liked it a lot. A year later they got married and had kids, but then the man lost his accounting job and things went downhill.

When im invisible you cant see me, i know

Autism speaks but not really

two men are sitting in a desk next to each other learning math when the equation 22+1 came up. the frist man says to the second, "24" and they both giggled. the second guy then slips his lips over the the first guy and whispers, "hey, i just thought of something funnier than 24" to which the first replies with a slight of laughter, "lemme hear it." so the second says with laughter "25".

Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

A Mexican, a black man and a Pakistani walk into a bar. Everyone immediately runs out seeing the potential danger in the situation that's about to unfold.

what is the difference between joe diragi and jerry sandusky sabdusky only targets human little boys

What did the little girl who lost her baby teeth want for Christmas? A pony.

There is no I in Pie except for the I

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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