Around 10PM on a Saturday two Irishmen walk into a bar. They order up a round of drinks, and comment on the appearance of several women in the place whom they believe to be single. After finishing up their drinks, the one Irishman asks the other if he'd like another one. The other says no, that he promised his wife he'd be back soon with diapers for the baby. He thanks his friend for the drink and leaves for home. The remaining Irishman orders up another "round" from the bartender, but really it's only one drink he is ordering, being he is only one person.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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Why is the light always red? Because the city has been in an economic depression and does not have the money to fix the traffic light's.

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In this case, its black operations, but simply in the term that its a well secret something, its not a lets say, organization that breaks the law, kidnaps listens to phones uses wires, which the FBI does. And when I mean I am a employee, I might have spoken a bit over my head here (sorry, lightheaded), you could well, simply put, I am something between a delivery boy and a mercenary, not the kind that shoots and kills (my shape sucks anyways), but rather the kind that "facilitates" communications between organizations... Thats all I can say without breaking laws that technically do not exist.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put my dick in your ass

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A man scratches his ankle and says " my nuts are itchy" a woman looks at him questionly. realizing he had been watched, he lifted the bottom of his pant leg and showed to woman that he had stuffed his socks with pecans.

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whats worse than war? being tied to a chair and watch your parents die.

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Roses are green Violets are grey Tulips are a lighter grey I am colorblind.

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What do you call a stupid anti-joke? Stupid.

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how do you confuse a blonde? shes already confused Leave.Her.Alone.

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An oriental man starts a new job. He is told to go to the Supply cupboard and bring back some stationery.He is gone far too long so his boss sends another man to see what is going on. The oriental man had a fatal stroke in the supply cupboard and was unfortunately dead.

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog, what breed would it be? A golden retriever.

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how many toyota's does it take to pee on a soccer game 900 because isis is a cat vagina

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How do black people get rich? They collect welfare checks.

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Girls soccer

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it could not afford sandals.

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sorry, that was a really bad joke, joking just joking, of course we can chat later, you got something in particular to do?

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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What happens when you mix a camel and a penguin? A cenguin!

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Your grandma and your mom drove of a cliff, who survived? Both of them they didn't drive off a cliff

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roses are red violets are blue cover me im goin in

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Why did little Johnny fall off his swing? He had no arms.

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Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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