What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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Why didn't the Hispanic man get elected? Because his policies were unpopular.

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What's the opposite of stupid? diputs

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Q. Why is me question not funny? A. Because there is no point to it.

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Whats hotter than the sun? Larger stars.

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U mad?

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Q. What did the mom say to the boy scout? A. He wouldn't be a happy camper.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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I told a joke to my friends. They laughed.

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Why don't Black people Dream? Because the last one that did got shot.

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What did the Arab do when he got frustrated? Burned himself

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why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

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Why couldn't the old man see? Because he was stabbed in the eye.

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What did the penis say to the other penis? What? Penis motherbucker

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what do you do when your girlfriend gives you head while playing MW3? continue to play while politely asking her sister to make you a sandwhich

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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what's the difference between rice and an asian? one is a food.

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What do you call a black guy robbing a store ? A theif

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What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

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This joke is the worst joke ever.

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What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Depends on the situation. In a formal environment you would call him Mr Dalgleish, in an informal one it would be acceptable to call him Kenny, Kenneth or just Ken.

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Why don't you play cards with a cheetah? It will attack you.

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some of the people who write thes jokes are complete assholes

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david your girlfriend has a nice ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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