why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

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did you know that Hellen Keller had a tree house? "no" she didn't know either.

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

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69

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knock knock GO AWAY I'M IN THE SHOWER

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A guy walks into a bar. He now has a broken collar bone.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have short-term memory loss. And roses are red.

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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holocaust jokes are bad, anne frankly they annoy me

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Guy 1: That's what she said! HAHAHA!!! Guy 2: That's what who said? Guy 1: I don't know. :/

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

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Q. Why did the friend say to the other friend "Your soo gay!" A. Because he was gay..

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20

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Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

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What's worse then dumping your' girlfriend over text? Dumping her best friend over text at the same time.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Reporter: So, how do you feel knowing you don't have some place to work when you walk out of your house because of that tornado? Guy: "Well, it feels even worse knowing I don't have a house to walk out of. . ."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

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Your momma's so fat when she walks into a restaurant she orders salad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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