How is it you become the true badass you say? Its a very complicated process that takes decades of training, and many failed attempts on before you become the one, true badass on the entire planet. Once you had done it. People will love you forever, there would be parades, parties, celebrations, even a holiday, just for you and you alone. Too bad I'll never tell you.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Shes been dead for some time now.

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How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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20

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385

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Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

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Where is my tractor?

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am not using commas That is improper punctuation.

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How are you this morning?

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Your momma's so fat when she walks into a restaurant she orders salad.

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Why did the teenager write a joke on here? Because after hours of surfing this website and casually laughing at herself she realized she had no life and the only way to feel happy with her self would be submitting her own to here.

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The Paralympics! Even if you win, you're still retarded!

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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