What's the difference between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee? Bruce Lee's dead.

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HEY are you aware of how tired your suitcase is? Sorry, I rest my case.

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My mother-in-law is so ugly I actually feel quite sorry for her.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

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when I shaved this morning....... hairs went down the sink

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The Olympics

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What does a blonde do in her spare time. Why are you interested, creep!

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What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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A man runs into a bar, he is in a coma for 7 years and most likely going to die, of severe brain damage.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trick Question. Baby's aren't smart enough comprehend changing light bulbs

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whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

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Why did the man with no arms, and no legs knock on your door? He can't, he has no arms!

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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What happened to the guy that fell off the building? He hit the ground

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I have no soul so I must consume yours

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The hippo's an African beast, Who notably is quite obese, Quite boorish and mean And never too lean And poops in the rivers, at least...

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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Why did the Mxican eat the taco? Because he was hungry,

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Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

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Why did Harry get in the taxi? His mother told him to put his seatbelt on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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