a black man jumps in a pool.

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How are you this morning?

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Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? In most people who lie eyebrows may raise, eyes may widen and gaze may alter, anal sphincter usually tightens, breathing often quickens marginally, external body temperature alters and sweat (and therefore skin electrical conductivity) increases.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

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what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? I don't know man, but you touch yourself at night.

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What does this joke have in common with a ruphies party? They both have an unpopular punchline.

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Why couldn't the guy find his pants? Because his girlfriend stole them last night

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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You might be a redneck if you are an individual a part of a low social caste in a predominately rural area such as the southern part of the United States or a mountainous area such as the Appalachians or Ozarks who may or may not partake in stereotypical activities such as hunting, fishing or farming And who also lives in possibly degraded living conditions.

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What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What's the difference between a Muslim and a box? A box won't blow you up!

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What happens when you stick your finger in a pencil sharpener? Blood everywhere.

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whats worse then 9/11? -George W. Bush

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops