A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yea, let's go bury it!"

woman..parallel parking

My favorite word starts with F and ends with U-C-K! My favorite word is FIRETRUCK! What'd you think I'd say? My favorite thing starts with P and ends with O-R-N! My favorite thing is POPCORN! What'd you think I'd say?

Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

What did the French-Italian couple name their child? Angelo Pierre Smith, giving tribute to the father's uncle Angelo, and the mother's great-grandfather, Pierre.

the fat lady said that it runs in the family im pretty sure nothing RUNS in her family

ask me if im deaf. are you deaf? ...............

what is the most confusing day in the ghetto fathers day

What is purple and green at the same time? Grapes, I lied about at the same time.

Roses are Gray. Violets are Gray. I am a Dog.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck on the way.

What's the difference between a McDonald's and Michael Jackson? One is a fast FOOD restaurant, while the other likes having sex with little boys.

what's worse than the Holocaust. Finding two worms in your apple.

Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

Q. why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton? A. it said concentrate.

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

What happened to the guy who bought a nice, brand new, plasma screen t.v.? He hanged himself.

whats difference between womens rights now and 10 years ago? nothing, they are both just lies men tell women to make them feel good.

Two giraffes walk into a bar, hit their heads, cracktheir skulls and die.

A horse walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't serve horses.' Adele sighed and walked out.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers... how about you.

Knock Knock, Who's There? The The Who? YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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