Q: What can you never see in the light, but you can in the dark? A: Darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the black man rob the store? Because he was hard on money for a reason not associated with race or stereotypes whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Are you from Tennessee? Cause my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock. Who's there? Falafel. Falafel who? I falafel. You feel awful? Ha, ha, ha! Oh, what a kneeslapper! Oh, God! Thanks for the laugh, I was feeling a little down and I... No, I just meant I ate a falafel. Oh. Yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is it too late to do? Apologize...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My sister had a lemonade stand once. And one time, she spilled.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

1: Knock knock. 2: Who's there? 1: Boo. 2: Please do come on in Boo, its so lovely to see you!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Who showed up at the dead soldier's funeral? A The Westboro Baptist Church...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a girl who was knocked off a swing by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the best type of silence in a family? None, all families should be open in communication.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Where do cows go when they're bored? Wherever they're standing. Cows cannot use toilets, regardless of their mood.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How come grilled cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Wanna here a good joke?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He was in a terrible car crash in which the fuel tank exploded.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are blue, violets are red, im colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a dinosaur eating a taco? Nothing, you are high.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops