Penis-biter

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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Q: How Do You Stop a Bus? A: Pull the Brakes so it comes to a absolute stop.

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Why did the kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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What do you call a car with a sunroof? A car.

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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It was Valentines Day today, I thought I should get her something... I brought flowers to her grave.

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Hey "Oren" its Red, sorry but I got to go now. How you been doing? Kinda missed you over here. So you actually care about how you sound now?

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A black guy walks into a resturaunt. he finishes his drink, graciously tips the bartender and leaves.

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A man called the police and was later arrested for murdering himself,

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if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

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Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it was dead, thus incapable of independent movement.

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What's worse than carrying a heavy suitcase? Poisoning children.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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why did the car crash? Because the driver was just a box of raisen Brand

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? I threw a ball at her.

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Illumati Confirmed

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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You're Mother's so fat, she sat on a chair, and it broke.

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What did the woman say when she lost her purse? Where's my purse?

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You will not press the like button.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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What do you do after a murder kills your entire family? Nothing, he killed you too

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops