A man walks into a bar, a man behind him doesn't.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to his mother's funeral.

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Your chicken just went across the road. What does this tell you about the economy?

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How do you confuse a blonde? Very carefully.

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What did George Washingtn say to is men before crossing the Delaware? Men, get in the boat.

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what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Roses are yellow Violets are carpet.. Get it...?

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What's bue and sticky? -A blue stick.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller watch TV? Because at 19 months she contracted what is believed to be scarlet fever which caused an acute congestion of the stomach and brain which caused her to loose sight and hearing.

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1d

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Uhh, yeah, some of it, I mean people never looked me in the eyes on the buss really, I dunno,if you think I am pretty maybe it is just your opinion or something, but thanks, you are hones and its nice. Never been out drinking, I am you know, kinda nerdy, I just prefer hanging out with friends at home.

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Q:what word starts with "p" and ends with "orn"? A: popcorn

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Why was the sex offender sweating in the playground? Because he was pushing his over weight son on the swing.

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Q: Whats The Difference between Batman and Blackman? A: One can go to a store without Robbing it...

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A:Hi, do you like to blow bubbles? B:Yea... A:Hi, my names bubbles

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10+10=20. 20+20=40 40-10=30 I have 2 penises.

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Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

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cum on guys, gay jokes are mean

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What did the black man do when his car was rear-ended? He exchanged insurance information with the other driver.

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Why is cameron haythorp gay? Answer- He showed his willy to robet tuner

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I was thinking... Love conquers all right? Remember the epic crying video? Satan: Because... Some where deep inside... I still love you... God:BUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHAAAAUuuuaaaahhh... (Partially invisible effect hand of Satan pats God on the back) The universe is at peace with no opposing forces and I am Nerometal, not that asshole that claims to have one fist and is the leader of some sect, I am and will always be the original Moralman, my name simply happens to be Nero, and thats it, so I am not dissing the bible, why would I none of my business literally, but if love can be tha powerful eh?

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H o m o comes out as homo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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