A woman walks into a bar but is promptly returned to her kitchen by an officer of the law. Later that same evening, she is beaten mercilessly by her husband for her outright disrespect for the social restrictions imposed upon her gender.

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Hi i want a cheeseburger and a small fry, said bob. And then, said the guy taking the order. thats all, said bob. And then, said the guy. Ummmm ok well i take small coke, said bob. And then, said that guy. Thats all, said bob. and then, said the guy. whatever i'll take a milkshake, said bob. And then, said that guy. and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then

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two men walked into a bar the last one ducked

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What do you call an indian driving a plane? A pilot.

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How do you scare a Jew Hold your lighter up and blow out the flame and I've toward him real slowly and see how much drama he'll cause

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Q: If you see a gipsy drowning, what will you throw him?! A: His family.

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Colon Right Parentheses For all of the confused people out there that's :)

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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Roses are red, My watch is gold now get on your knees and do as your told

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How long did it take the world's most powerful democracy to elect a black President? Less than a day.

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why did the window washer lose his job. because he fell off and died.

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Meanwhile, at La'kaneisha's family reunion, they had a great time eating caviar, steamed lobster, and rare bull testicals.

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How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

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what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

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What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

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I want a lot of likes...do it you wont. i know you wont.

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

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this site is an antijoke

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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How did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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There was a hundred dollar note lying flat on the ground. The homeless guy didn't pick it up and walked on because he didn't see it.

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What's the easiest way to load dead babies into a tractor trailer? Pitchfork.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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