what has two eyes and a face? the 5 year old who got raped on his way back home last night.

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A man wearing a chicken t-shirt and holding a pair of dentures walks into the Youtube headquarters, then immediately walks out in fear of getting a copyright strike.

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Knock knock Get off my porch.

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A black man walks into a store with a gun. He is a policeman bringing in a murder weapon as part of his investigation.

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what do you call postman pat after he's retired? Pat.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

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a burglar walks in a house the alarm goes off and the police come

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Austin is gay. He goes to River Road. And is a sophomore.

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what's worse than the Holocaust. Finding two worms in your apple.

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what do gay people eat?? food

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I saw a coin one day but never picked it up. It was still there the next day and then the day after that when it was still there I saw a girl being sick on it...

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A blonde, red head and brunette decide the jump off a cliff....... They all die

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Tim: Hey Jennifer, do you wanna hear a joke? Jennifer: Okay Tim: Knock knock Jennifer: Who's there Tim: It's me Tim, you idiot

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A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

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Why can't Johnny run? He has no legs.

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow". Tragic.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light turned green

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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Why was six afraid of seven? He was wanted for murder.

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A homeless man walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says it'll be $4.50. The homeless man doesn't have any money so he leaves.

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you first

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What do you get when you cross your eyes? A headache.

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Why couldn't the elephant ride a bike? Because he had no thumbs...

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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