Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what do you call jerry sandusky with a kid in a shower jerry sandusky

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many walls can you paint with a baby? Depends on how hard you throw it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Korean man, "Hi, I'm the President of North Korea!" Man, "Oh wow! What's your name?" Korean man, "Kim."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Caca.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What color is red paint? Red

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The only thing you need to call a woman that starts with "B" is "Beautiful" Biitches love to be called beautiful

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the man wear his jacket because he was cold

thumb_up thumb_down +19

yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q:What do African American men call the Internet? A:The Internet

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what do you call a joke that makes no sense? a joke that makes no sense

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I have this friend named Rachel, so I call her Rachel.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A: A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Have you heard any anti-jokes? ... Are you Jewish by chance?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

how do you kill a giraffe? you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Tim sit on the chair? Because potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops