Why wouldn't Jimmy ever eat his vegetables at dinner? As a young boy, Jimmy watched as a robber entered his house, suffocated his mother by clogging her airway with a cucumber, and escaped with their life savings.

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L's I's that took Viagra.

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New Name for Jersey Shore: American Whorer Story

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play including his 6 year old sister who has down syndrome.

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How did the black man get into college? A mop.

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want to hear a funny joke? what a coincidence so do I!

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Ask me if i am a tree? "Are you a tree" No.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing. She had no arms Knock knock Whis there Not Mary.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

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Q:What do you call an insecure person A:Somebody who is likely to commit suicide

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he f**king felt like it!

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

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what do you call cheese that's not yours? cheese that you stole.

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this girl and guy were sitting on my couch turns out its my sister and her boyfriend and she just farted

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What's the difference between Batman and a black man? Batman is a fictional superhero and a black man is an ordinary man of African descent.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

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i used to be gay. now i am bisexual.

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Blarg, with ritalin everything tastes like cardboard, but on the bright side I can taste, lucky me I am so handsome the ones that attacked us did not want to ruin "my pretty face", so I just got a few cuts before I broke his, they never see a steel fist arriving you know... Listen, you are wrong, you gotta think less about me, and much more about yourself, you feel like you should worry more about me emotionally, but worry about your feelings more despite that because I can more or less hear your body saying "please take care of me", I mean I can more or less hear the urges and needs of women, thats why I am so good around them, I dont put them in a trance "vampire style" i just make them feel safe around me because it is safe around me, I am safe at all times because I am who I am. Listen, worry about your needs, turn of all mental alarms, I can sense (I dont know how, Richard Bandler put that into me) that you are in lack of sleep, food and sleep (I can sense it now, you havent slept well since you thought I was dead, it makes logical sense, it always does, its not magic, its the human potential unleashed) So take care of yourself, turn of your body`s needs one by one, shower, eat, drink (eat something good), and if you are at the couch, go get a pillow and lie down, this is about you, because I cant feel well if those I love and care about dont feel well okay? Please allow me to sleep easily and try getting some sleep yourself even if my guys are 15 minutes away. Let me know that you feel better.

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When A White Man Sees A Magic Trick - He Claps When A Black Man Sees A Magic Trick - He Does Handstands, Celebrations, And Shouts

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Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

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Why does history repeat itself? Because no one listened to it the first time.

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A man walks into a bar The bar now has a hole in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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