What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This doesn't rhyme F*ck it

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Thank you so much Nero, I have read it and I am crying because I am happy, at first I was worried because I have never cried out of happiness before. But its over. Nero, you underestimate yourself a lot, promise me we will work with that together, sometimes you almost convince me you are as inferior as you say, but then you get out of your shell of doubt your past has caused in you (its not you when you doubt yourself its what they put in you), you are always there when people need you, teach me hypnosis someday and let me remove that part of you which does not allow you to believe in yourself. Dont reply Nero, calm down and sleep, I feel you are allright, I just know.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait; it would be quite unsanitary to talk about my genitals in front of you.

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So you go home and get on the computer. You have no internet so your stuck playing pinball.

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What did Iran say to Israel? ALLLLAHH

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Q: What's brown and smells like poo? A: poo

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Why did the blonde switch the lamp on? Because it was getting dark

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What's red and looks like blue paper? Red paper

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police your son died in a car crash.

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You're mother is so retarded that I probably shouldn't be making fun of her because it would be considered discriminatory.

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cum on guys, gay jokes are mean

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What's worse than seeing 5 dead babies on the side of the road? Realizing slavery is banned after buying a perfectly good young black male for a reasonable price at your local walmart.

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

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Why did Colussi miss 2 years of school? -Because he died

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What do cookies and Ruber have in common? Ones edible one is not

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A man buys a prius

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Who saw 9/11 as a miracle? The undertakers

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Why do so many Koreans go to medical school? Practicing medicine is a rewarding and respected career.

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What's worse than the holocaust? An open-minded black man.

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God said onto john "come forth and receive eternal life" john came fifth and received a toaster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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