What should you do when a man carrying a stuffed tortoise tries to break into your house? Call the police.

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

Two birds fly onto a bench. They cherp 3 times and sit there enjoying the nice weather.

Why couldn't little Suzie snap her fingers? Her stepfather cut off her fingers after becoming a drunk and leaving her family.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk in to a barber shop They each ask the barber for haircuts of their preference.

42, that is all

Q: Whats the worst thing to drop in a prison shower? A: An exploding nail gun

What did the little boy become for Halloween? An orphan, his parents were killed that day.

What did the German say to the Jew? Sorry.

Whats cooler than being cool in High School? Nothing, now take a hit...everyone's looking

I advise you, don't mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw it after I chopped its' head off.

What did the Pope say to the homosexual couple? Welcome to the community.

Isn't a coincidence that the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the 4th of July are on the same day? Weird

I saw a guy walking down the street like a black person. I just shook my head and smiled. He WAS black.

Justin Bieber's mother.

knock knock who's th...AIDS.....

A horse walks into a bar... just kidding the doors were to smal.l

What's under the first mate? The second mate.

What's red,little and its in the corner??? --- Strawberry in the corner

what's wrong on so many levels? wrong wrong wrong wrong

Nickleback.

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Needless to say he received a bath that night.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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