why did mary fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? Cause she had no friends. Knock knock whos there Definately not mary !

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Q: What is your favorite color? M: Blue

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an englishman,scotsman,and irishman walk into a bar the englishman says " a pint of lager please" "that will be 10pounds , says the barman "Im not paying that , ill see you in court" says the englishman . The same thing happens , in turn to the scotsman, and irishman ,and a summons is issued. In court the jugde says "why are you charging drinks too dear?" the barman says "im not, im selling them to a englishman ,scotsman, and a irishman..

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why did the chickan cross the road? who let the chickan out?

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what is so fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? There is a high possibility their breasts have developed, thus equaling more pleasure for you.

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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Why was Sally gone for her father's birthday? She went on a camping trip with her friends. Sally's friends were brutally murdered and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper cut off her arms and legs and left her in the middle of a suburban intersection late at night. The autopsy revealed that Sally died from blood loss from losing her limbs. It also revealed that she had contracted a fast growing tumor in her brain which would have most likely killed her within days of the murder anyway. Her family was living in the country illegally so her DNA did not reveal a computer file of her person. Her parents were not informed of her death for years because of this. When it was determined that the victim was the parents' daughter they were arrested for living in the country illegally and were not able to have a funeral.

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there once was a guy named james who like to play video games he was told one day that he was gay and he immediatley consulted a priest for reconciliation

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A horse walks into a bar. The Bartender says "Why the long face?" The Bartender is then put into a lunatic asylum for hallucinating and trying to communicate with said hallucinations.

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What's black and blue and afraid of sex The twelve year Old boy in my trunk

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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2 brothers were arguing, both had anger problems to the point where one started war with the other. Boy1: I HATE YOU Boy2: MOM HATES YOU Boy1: ....Wait why? Boy2: YOU WERE AN ACCIDENT SHE TRIED TO SELL YOU TO A MEXICAN AND HE SAID THAT THING WAY TOO DAM UGLEH ITD BURN THE FACES OFF MY COWS.

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What's brown and has four wheels? Wood, I lied about the wheels.

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No, Trinidad.

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Who is happpier than the grouch about the Zombie Apoclypse? Dora.

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what is racecar backwards in reverse

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What did the teenage girl text her friend while driving? It doesn't matter, she's dead now. Don't text and drive.

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what did the man say to his dog? sex. -teagan doherty

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Gay jokes arn't funny. "Come" on guys.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue shotgun How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose and shoot it with a blue shotgun.

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally has a burning hatred for dairy products.

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The joke below this comment is stupid. Lets go Mets

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Stephen Hawkins walks into a bar...

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A man walks into a bar. He suffered concussions later that night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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