Knock, knock. Who's there? I am.

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nock nock who's there? bob bob who? bob franklin let me in 'cause i'm freezing!

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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What did the Arab do when he got frustrated? Burned himself

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What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

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what do you call a bear with socks on A bear with socks on

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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so 3 guys walk into a bar.....the 4th one ducks

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roses are blue, violets are red, im colorblind

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Why did the cat cross the road? To see its mom who was lying dead on the other side

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Viking are all fighting over a piece of land. The piece of land was the whole of England and this was the beginning of the Noman conquest in 1066.

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Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep? Because deep down they are really good people.

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Why didn't Susie's dad come home on time? He was dragged into a dark alley, then stabbed in the eye. When his body was found 2 days later, Susie couldnt stand the loss and hung herself the day after her father was found.

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What's the only thing a Black Hole can't absorb? Nothing. It absorbs everything, even light.

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What did Helen Keller do when she found a dead body? Nothing.

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A child logs on to antijoke.com he is a chronic masturbator

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So there's a man named Moses. He prays to God for a donkey to transport him from Bethlahem to Jerusalem. God granted his wish. God said" To make the donkey go, you must say Hallelujah. To make it stop you say Go". Moses rode off happily. Suddenly the donkey went off trail and was headed towards a steep cliff. Moses kept saying stop, stop, stop. He remembered what God had said, and had said Go. They stopped one inch before falling down. Moses thanked the lord and said " Thank You Jesus, Hallelujah." And down they went.

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What do you call a sheep on a trampoline? Disorientated.

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What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

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What starts with a 's' and ends in 'ex'? Sex -XH

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What's the difference between a bird? Both legs are the same, especially the left one

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Roses are blue Violets are green I have issues, What should I do?

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Q: Where can you find a cat with no arms and no legs? A: Right where you left him Q: Where can you find a dog with no arms and no legs? A: In a bun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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