What starts with 'P' and ends with 'orn'? Popcorn.

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Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

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Q: Why did the lady retire? A: Because she had been working for numerous years and felt that she needed to spend more time with her family.

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3 guys walk into a bar. The fourth guy ducks.

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Gay Rights

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whats worse than 100 babies strapped to an atomic bomb? 1 baby strapped to 100 atomic bombs

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why did the chicken cross the road? Does it matter why, it just did.

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

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In that case you are probably a bit of an outcast as most girls of your beauty are, you know, you are that kind of girl that feels weird because when she got/gets on the buss EVERYONE stares at her, but nobody dares to say anything, right? And when you are hanging out for a drink or something guys stare at you, and go like "nah" which means "Nah she is too good to want me" and starts hitting on your friends instead. Oh and you also get a lot of rude comments from guys "auto disqualifying themselves" like using complements they know will backfire like "Hey wanna fuck sugart1ts? They do this so they can go home with their ego intact thinking "Hey I was tough enough to hit on her, but she turned out to be a bitch! So does any of this sound familiar?

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A snail walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "hey we don't serve snails here," and flicks him across the street. 3 years later the snails walks back into the bar and said, "why'd ya do that for??"

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Your momma's so fat that she is at risk for heart disease and diabetes.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a dog? Niether did she

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Why do basketball players wear bibs? They don't.

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Whats 2+1? 2.

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What word rhymes with orange? -Adult onset diabetes

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What do you say when someone attempts to steal your cheese? Give me my cheese!!!

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What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

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Mel Gibson and a Jew walk into a bar They proceed to have a pleasant conversation and both take taxis home

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What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

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Knock knock. Who's there It's Jim O ok come on in

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What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Then I settled down in a quiet place in the woods with a girl and raised a family.

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Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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