A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar and ask the bartender for a drink, but in response the bartender politely points out that there are probably people in need of their assistance at their respective place of warship.

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Once upon a time, a duck named Jim went to work, he went up to the steps to his new job and and he was paid all day to sit in a hot tub. Little did he know it was a boiling pot and he was served at Christmas dinner

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Roses are red Violets are red Shit My garden's on fire?

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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Q: Why do people post the same anti-joke a bajillion times in a row? A: Because they are stupid ass holes with absolutely no life.

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Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

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Two friends sit down to dinner, the third is late so they eat him

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Sticks and stones may break my bones.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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Hey guys! Today is September 10th you know what tomorrow means? Party at my house! ...What? It's my birthday.

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Do you know whats sad? Global Warming Do you know why the polar bears are dying? Aids

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Why was the Chinese Man mistaken for the other Chinese Man? They were twins.

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im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

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-Ask me if i'm a crab. -Are you a crab? -No, why would i be a crab?

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why did the girl eat a banana? because she was hungry

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life is a barrel of tomatoes...unless you paint them blue.

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Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

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What's 9 + 10 19

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

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why did the chicken cross the street? he couldn't, he lives in a rural area on a farm where there are no streets

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Why can't Helen Kellen drive? She's a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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