What did the heart surgeon say to the brain surgeon? We are both surgeons

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

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Why was the black man forced off of the roller coaster He had heart disease

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Why did the door close? Because I closed it.

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why did the older man give candy to the little kids? he was in a parade

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and the bartender comes over and asks him what he wants to drink. The man replies, "Carrot Juice."

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whats a porn stars favorite number? 69...

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

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okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

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How could you wake up Lady Gaga? poke her face

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Q: why does batman die in the end of dark night rises? A: he smoked got cancer and died.

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anal seepage

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What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

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Why did Tiarnan not ride is bike to school today. Tiarnan's dead.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, it seem's that someone has been bathroom on my lawn. "Martha, I'm not cleaning this up"

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What did Iran say to Israel? ALLLLAHH

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What is the saddest thing in a porno? He doesn't really love her.

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What did the woman say just before she was stabbed eleven times in the chest thus killing her? Nothing, she had been gagged.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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How do you get a girl out of a tree? You throw a refrigirator at her.

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a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar they are good friends and enjoy alcoholic beverages.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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